Quotes from Scott Adams ‘Dilbert -- The Joy of Work’

 

 

"I think the next wave of office design will focus on eliminating the only remaining of obstacle to office productivity: your happiness. Managers know that if they can eliminate all traces of happiness, the employees won't be so picky about their physical surroundings. Once you're hopelessly unhappy, you won't bother to complain if your boss rolls you up in a tight ball and crams you into a cardboard box." ~~ Scott Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)

 

"Humor is the easiest and safest way to pretend you are smart. If you try to demonstrate your brilliance by, for example, shouting the solution to complex math problems, people will think you're a dork. But if you cracks jokes all day, you'll look like brilliant employee who is simply too modest to perform any conspicuous acts of competence on the job. As a funny employee, you'll be able to bungle one project after another without drawing suspicion that the problem is you." ~~ Scott Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)

"As a rule, it's a good idea to stay away from anything in life that has "evil" built right into the description. But it's especially true where a boss is involved. When evil is combined with incompetence, it becomes more unpredictable. Your only defense is distance." ~~ Scott Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)

 

"One excellent way to entertain yourself at work is to constantly bring up topics that you know will set your co-worker into spastic fits." ~~ Scott Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)

 

"Scientists don't specify which sources of laughter are better than others health wise, so I  recommend laughing at other people --- your co-workers in particular --- at least until we have more data. If you know any scientists, you can laugh at them too. They won't take it personally because they'll understand you're doing it for medical reasons." ~~ Scott Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)

 

"From a purely quantitative standpoint, it makes more sense to laugh at other people than to laugh at yourself. You're only one person, whereas there are new batches of other people born every minute, many of whom are hilarious without even trying." ~~ Scott Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)

 

"Perhaps your boss has told you that problems are really opportunities in disguise. It's true, but only if the problems belong to other people. Those problems are indeed opportunities for you to get free entertainment. I think you'll agree that there is no laugh that is quite as satisfying as the one you get at the expense of your co-workers."    ~~ Scott Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)

 

"Make sure your co-workers don't detect any traces of empathy as you listen to their problems. Everyone knows that if you have empathy, you probably have the capacity for guilt too." ~~ Scott Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)

 

"Just because you're sick, that's no reason to stay home. The body is an amazing machine, capable of enduring the most ghastly germs and bacteria until they can be safely transmitted to your co-workers. If you can move at all, you might as well go to work and enjoy one of the few legal ways you can intentionally cause bodily harm to other people." ~~ Scott Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)

 

"When you're germ-laden, you're like the evil criminals who escaped jail on Krypton just because the planet exploded. People fear you when you're sick. Try wearing a cape and tall boots to accentuate the effect. Then yell "Bow Before Me" before you cough on a co-worker." ~~ Scott Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)

 

"The quality of your ideas is irrelevant. You can get away with spewing bad ideas all day because no one can tell the difference between a great idea and a bad idea." ~~ Scott Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)

 

"The Internet is the best place to find friends, because you can pretend to be someone else. Your internet friends will also be pretending to be other people, so in essence you will be creating fake people who will be friends with each other, but that's close enough. At least no one will ask you to borrow your stuff." ~~ Scott Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)

 

"Unless you work alone, one of the biggest assaults on your happiness is something called a meeting." ~~ Scott Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)

 

"You can't create anything new --- even if it's only an idea --- the zombies (referred to as critics) will surround your office or home and try to recruit you into their cult of normalcy. The critics can effectively neutralize any happiness you get from your creativity." ~~ Scott Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)

 

"When you create anything --- especially humor -- there's a good chance that people will get angry for no good reason. When people get mad for no reason, you will be branded 'insensitive'." ~~ Scott Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)

 

 

"There is only one effective response when accused of insensitivity: Accuse your accuser of a sin called political correctness. Political correctness is a totally meaningless phase, similar to 'insensitivity'. Neither has any useful meaning because they both describe every person on the earth. Realistically, everyone whines when his or her own demographic group is maligned. We're all politically correct. So it's like accusing 'dog of having hair on its body'." ~~ Scott Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)

 

"If your co-workers, family, friends and business partners find out that your schedule is not filled with life-threatening crisis, they will happily supply them." ~~ Scott Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)

 

"The most time-efficient way to say no to something is to say yes, and then never do it." ~~ Scott Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)

 

"If people are always asking you for information, start referring them to your Web page. It's okay if you don't have a Web page or that your Web page has no useful information." ~~ Scott Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)

 

"An effective way to reduce your workload is to act creative, which is exactly like acting insane but without the involuntary incarceration and ensuing social stigma." ~~ Scott Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)

 

"As a creative, you are not obliged to be logical, since logic is the opposite of creative. Act confused at every opportunity. If you get into a discussion of world events, take an irrational stand and defend it vigorously." ~~ Scott Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)

 

"You don't have to listen to every single word that people say in order to be a good listener. You can usually get the gist of the topic in the first sentence, then tune out and nod politely until the noise stops." ~~ Scott Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)

 

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Quotes About Reading

"If you want to break out of your own box, get into somebody else's. Read broadly." ~~ John C Maxwell (Book: Thinking for a Change)

“Read every day something no one else is reading. Think everyday something no one else is thinking. It is bad for the mind to be always part of unanimity.” ~~ Christopher Morley

“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.” ~~ George R.R. Martin 

“If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all.” ~~ Oscar Wilde

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn the more places you'll go.” ~~ Dr. Seuss

“It is what you read when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it.” ~~ Oscar Wilde 

“′Classic′ -- a book which people praise and don't read.” ~~ Mark Twain 

“If you don't have time to read, you don't have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that.” ~~ Stephen King

“You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them.” ~~ Ray Bradbury

“Do not read, as children do, to amuse yourself, or like the ambitious, for the purpose of instruction. No, read in order to live.” ~~ Gustave Flaubert 

“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.”
~~ Mark Twain

“Easy writing makes hard reading.” ~~ Ernest Hemingway   

"There are worst crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them." ~~ Joseph Brodsky 

“The unread story is not a story; it is little black marks on wood pulp. The reader, reading it, makes it live: a live thing, a story.” ~~ Ursula K. Le Guin

“Tell the readers a story! Because without a story, you are merely using words to prove you can string them together in logical sentences.” ~~ Anne McCaffrey

“You can’t please all of the readers all of the time; you can’t please even some of the readers all of the time, but you really ought to try to please at least some of the readers some of the time.” ~~ Stephen King

"Words are sacred. They deserve respect. If you get the right ones, in the right order, you can nudge the world a little." ~~ Tom Stoppard

“Let us read, and let us dance; these two amusements will never do any harm to the world.” ~~ Voltaire 

“You get a little moody sometimes but I think that's because you like to read. People that like to read are always a little fucked up.” ~~ Pat Conroy 

“Read, read, read. Read everything -- trash, classics, good and bad, and see how they do it. Just like a carpenter who works as an apprentice and studies the master. Read! You'll absorb it. Then write. If it's good, you'll find out. If it's not, throw it out of the window.” ~~ William Faulkner

“No book is really worth reading at the age of ten which is not equally – and often far more – worth reading at the age of fifty and beyond.” ~~ C.S. Lewis

“I read a book one day and my whole life was changed.” ~~ Orhan Pamuk

“If you would tell me the heart of a man, tell me not what he reads, but what he rereads.” ~~ Francois Mauriac 

“I am too fond of reading books to care to write them.” ~~ Oscar Wilde

“[D]on't ever apologise to an author for buying something in paperback, or taking it out from a library (that's what they're there for. Use your library). Don't apologise to this author for buying books second hand, or getting them from book crossing or borrowing a friend's copy. What's important to me is that people read the books and enjoy them, and that, at some point in there, the book was bought by someone. And that people who like things, tell other people. The most important thing is that people read...” ~~ Neil Gaiman 

Hope you enjoyed reading this collection of quotes.

Happy Reading! 

Quotes From Julian Assange's When Google Met Wikileaks

"Wikileaks had always been a guerilla publisher. We would draw surveillance and censorship in one jurisdiction and redeploy in another, moving across borders like ghosts." ~~ Julian Assange (Book: When Google Met Wikileaks)

 

"Nobody wants to acknowledge that Google has grown big and bad. But it has." ~~ Julian Assange (Book: When Google Met Wikileaks)

 

"Long before company founders Larry Page and Sergin Brin hired Schmidt in 2001, their initial research upon which Google was based had been partly funded by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA). And even as Schmidt's Google developed an image as the overtly friendly giant of global teach, it was building a close relationship with intelligence community." ~~ Julian Assange (Book: When Google Met Wikileaks)

 

"But part of the resilient image of Google is "more than just a company" comes from a perception that it does not act like a big, bad corporation. Its penchant for luring people into its services trap with gigabytes of "free storage" produces the perception that Google is giving it away for free, acting directly contrary to the corporate profit motive." ~~ Julian Assange (Book: When Google Met Wikileaks)

 

 

"If the future of the Internet is to be Google, that should be of serious concern to people all over the world. A "don't be evil" empire is still an empire." ~~ Julian Assange (Book: When Google Met Wikileaks)

 

"Every day, another million or so Google-run mobile devices are activated. Google will interpose itself and hence the United States government, between the communication of every human being not in China (naughty China). Commodities just become more marvelous; young, urban professionals sleep, work and shop with ease and comfort; democracy is insidiously subverted by technologies of surveillance and control and our present world order of systematized domination, intimidations and oppressions continues, unmentioned, unafflicted or only faintly perturbed." ~~ Julian Assange (Book: When Google Met Wikileaks)

 

"The advance of information technology epitomized by Google heralds the death of primary for most people and shifts the world towards authoritarianism." ~~ Julian Assange (Book: When Google Met Wikileaks)

 

"The erosion of individual privacy in the West and the attendant centralization of power make abuses inevitable, moving the 'good' societies closer to the 'bad' ones." ~~ Julian Assange (Book: When Google Met Wikileaks)

 

"You can affect a lot of people with a small amount of information. Therefore, you can change the behavior of many people with small amount of information. The question then arises as to what kinds of information will produce behavior which is just and disincentivize behavior which is unjust." ~~ Julian Assange (Book: When Google Met Wikileaks)

 

 

"I would say probably the most significant form of censorship, historically, has been economic censorship, where it is simply not profitable to publish something because there is no market for it." ~~ Julian Assange (Book: When Google Met Wikileaks)

 

 

"I say that the free speech in many Western places is free not as a result of liberal circumstances but rather as a result of such intense fiscalization that it doesn't matter what you say. The dominant elite doesn't have to be scared of what [people think, because a change in political view is not going to change whether they own their company or not; it is not going to change whether they own a piece of land or not." ~~ Julian Assange (Book: When Google Met Wikileaks)

 

 

"Censorship is always cause for celebration. It is always an opportunity because it reveals fear of reform. It means that the power position is so weak that you have got to care what people think." ~~ Julian Assange (Book: When Google Met Wikileaks)

 

"Most wars in the twentieth century started as a result of lies amplified and spread by the mainstream press. And you may say, "Well that is a horrible circumstance; it is terrible that all these wars start with lies.". And I say no, this is tremendous opportunity because it means that populations basically don't like wars and they have to be lied into it. That means we can be "truthed" into peace. This is a cause for great hope." ~~ Julian Assange (Book: When Google Met Wikileaks)

 

 

"I don't see a difference between government and big cooperation and small corporations, This all one continuum, these are all systems that are trying to get as much power as possible."  ~~ Julian Assange (Book: When Google Met Wikileaks)

 

"Plans that are opposed before implementation often don't get implemented, so they (powerful organizations) want to wait as long as possible before going public. Implementation eventually makes the plans public by the very fact that they are being implemented, but by then it is too late to alter the course of the actions effectively." ~~ Julian Assange (Book: When Google Met Wikileaks)

 

 

"The most effective activists are those that fight and run away to fight another day, not those who fight and martyr themselves. That's about judgment -- when to engage in the fight and when to withdraw so as to preserve your resources for the next fight." ~~ Julian Assange (Book: When Google Met Wikileaks)

 

 

"There are all sorts of myths that go around about what can be done and what cannot be done. It's important to test. You don't test by jumping off a bridge. You test by jumping off a footstool and then jumping off something a bit higher and a bit higher." ~~ Julian Assange (Book: When Google Met Wikileaks)

 

"There's another way of leading and that's leading through values instead of through command and control. When you lead through values you don't need to trust people and there is no limit on the number of people who can adopt those values and the speed at which they can adopt them. It all happens very quickly." ~~ Julian Assange (Book: When Google Met Wikileaks)

 

 

 

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