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Saturday, December 7, 2019

Quotes from Scott Adams ‘Dilbert -- The Joy of Work’




If you enjoyed reading one of the author’s books then chances are you may like another one. After reading ‘How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big’ I searched for ‘The Dilbert Principle’ and couldn’t find it.

But! I found ‘Dilbert – The Joy of Work’ instead and soon found out how amusing it is.

"I think the next wave of office design will focus on eliminating the only remaining of obstacle to office productivity: your happiness. Managers know that if they can eliminate all traces of happiness, the employees won't be so picky about their physical surroundings. Once you're hopelessly unhappy, you won't bother to complain if your boss rolls you up in a tight ball and crams you into a cardboard box." ~~ Scoot Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)



"Humor is the easiest and safest way to pretend you are smart. If you try to demonstrate your brilliance by, for example, shouting the solution to complex math problems, people will think you're a dork. But if you cracks jokes all day, you'll look like brilliant employee who is simply too modest to perform any conspicuous acts of competence on the job. As a funny employee, you'll be able to bungle one project after another without drawing suspicion that the problem is you." ~~ Scoot Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)


"As a rule, it's a good idea to stay away from anything in life that has "evil" built right into the description. But it's especially true where a boss is involved. When evil is combined with incompetence, it becomes more unpredictable. Your only defense is distance." ~~ Scoot Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)



"One excellent way to entertain yourself at work is to constantly bring up topics that you know will set your co-worker into spastic fits." ~~ Scoot Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)



"Scientists don't specify which sources of laughter are better than others health wise, so I  recommend laughing at other people --- your co-workers in particular --- at least until we have more data. If you know any scientists, you can laugh at them too. They won't take it personally because they'll understand you're doing it for medical reasons." ~~ Scoot Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)



"From a purely quantitative standpoint, it makes more sense to laugh at other people than to laugh at yourself. You're only one person, whereas there are new batches of other people born every minute, many of whom are hilarious without even trying." ~~ Scoot Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)



"Perhaps your boss has told you that problems are really opportunities in disguise. It's true, but only if the problems belong to other people. Those problems are indeed opportunities for you to get free entertainment. I think you'll agree that there is no laugh that is quite as satisfying as the one you get at the expense of your co-workers."    ~~ Scoot Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)




"Make sure your co-workers don't detect any traces of empathy as you listen to their problems. Everyone knows that if you have empathy, you probably have the capacity for guilt too." ~~ Scoot Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)



"Just because you're sick, that's no reason to stay home. The body is an amazing machine, capable of enduring the most ghastly germs and bacteria until they can be safely transmitted to your co-workers. If you can move at all, you might as well go to work and enjoy one of the few legal ways you can intentionally cause bodily harm to other people." ~~ Scoot Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)



"When you're germ-laden, you're like the evil criminals who escaped jail on Krypton just because the planet exploded. People fear you when you're sick. Try wearing a cape and tall boots to accentuate the effect. Then yell "Bow Before Me" before you cough on a co-worker." ~~ Scoot Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)



"The quality of your ideas is irrelevant. You can get away with spewing bad ideas all day because no one can tell the difference between a great idea and a bad idea." ~~ Scoot Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)



"The Internet is the best place to find friends, because you can pretend to be someone else. Your internet friends will also be pretending to be other people, so in essence you will be creating fake people who will be friends with each other, but that's close enough. At least no one will ask you to borrow your stuff." ~~ Scoot Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)



"Unless you work alone, one of the biggest assaults on your happiness is something called a meeting." ~~ Scoot Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)



"You can't create anything new --- even if it's only an idea --- the zombies (referred to as critics) will surround your office or home and try to recruit you into their cult of normalcy. The critics can effectively neutralize any happiness you get from your creativity." ~~ Scoot Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)



"When you create anything --- especially humor -- there's a good chance that people will get angry for no good reason. When people get mad for no reason, you will be branded 'insensitive'." ~~ Scoot Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)


"There is only one effective response when accused of insensitivity: Accuse your accuser of a sin called political correctness. Political correctness is a totally meaningless phase, similar to 'insensitivity'. Neither has any useful meaning because they both describe every person on the earth. Realistically, everyone whines when his or her own demographic group is maligned. We're all politically correct. So it's like accusing 'dog of having hair on its body'." ~~ Scoot Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)



"If your co-workers, family, friends and business partners find out that your schedule is not filled with life-threatening crisis, they will happily supply them." ~~ Scoot Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)



"The most time-efficient way to say no to something is to say yes, and then never do it." ~~ Scoot Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)



"If people are always asking you for information, start referring them to your Web page. It's okay if you don't have a Web page or that your Web page has no useful information." ~~ Scoot Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)



"An effective way to reduce your workload is to act creative, which is exactly like acting insane but without the involuntary incarceration and ensuing social stigma." ~~ Scoot Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)


"As a creative, you are not obliged to be logical, since logic is the opposite of creative. Act confused at every opportunity. If you get into a discussion of world events, take an irrational stand and defend it vigorously." ~~ Scoot Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)



"You don't have to listen to every single word that people say in order to be a good listener. You can usually get the gist of the topic in the first sentence, then tune out and nod politely until the noise stops." ~~ Scoot Adams (Book: Dilbert -- The Joy of Work)


Buy: Amazon 

Hope you enjoyed reading this collection of quotes.

Happy Reading!


    

Friday, December 6, 2019

Quotes from Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis’s ‘The One Minute Entrepreneur’



Some days I wish if these books really had some secrets (worth it kind) in them. But it’s my wishful thinking. And I know it that if there were ‘secrets’ to getting this or that, then either these books would be sold at much higher price or no one would write it.

Why share the secret, unless it’s no secret at all.

Anyway, let’s move on to the quotes….

"At any given time, we are becoming the average of the five people with whom we are most closely associated. Don't ever underestimate the importance of whom you choose to be with. And remember, when you have an opportunity to learn from someone who is exceptionally smart or successful, capture the gems they send your way." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"Write your values down and make sure you read them every day. Then, when your gut tells you you've violated one, stop. Take note and get back on the right path." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"You never need to cheat to win. Remember that what's right is more important than who is right." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"You'll be the same year after year except for the people you meet and the books you read." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"You can get what you want in life is you help other people get what they want." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"It's not who you know that counts; it's who knows you and what they think of you." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"When you feel moments impacting your destiny seize the opportunity." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"Humility helps you to be open to learning and growing in your field of expertise." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"Take care of your numbers and your numbers will take care of you." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"To create a success business you must first master the basics." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"For a mentor to be effective, you have to be an enthusiastic and committed protégé." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"Always visualize your desired outcome ahead of time." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"In sales and in every other business, you are constantly on stage so act like it." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"Identify what you're passionate about doing. Look to do more of it. Don't quit your day job until you've got some success under your belt. If nobody will pay you to what you love, you have a hobby, not a career." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"On the entrepreneurial path, few people come into your life without a reason." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"Becoming a successful entrepreneur and having a spouse are not mutually exclusive. When it comes to finding a life partner, character and values trump personality and looks. To build a great marriage, especially if you're an entrepreneur, make sure you commit to spending time together outside of meals and sleeping." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"You and your spouse are a team. Act like one." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"Too many people dream too small. Remember you'll never achieve more than you think you can. So create a big dream." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"Never let your expenses outstrip your revenue." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"Don't be a banker for your customers. Timely collection of invoices is crucial." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"Your customers are a company's lifeblood-- they pay the bills." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"Nurture your people. They make it all happen, Without them, you have no company." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"Don't be afraid to seek advice when your business goes to a new level." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"Making profit is always a necessity if you want to stay in a business. As an entrepreneur, the secret to success is generating CASH CASH CASH. Without good cash management you'll never make it as an entrepreneur." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"Profit is the applause you get for taking care of your customers and creating a motivational environment for your people." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"Look for Moment of Truth with your customers, to create the kind of experience you want them to have." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"Don't create a company of ducks. Let your people soar like eagles to deliver superior customer service." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"Working people today want a partnership relationship, not a top-down hierarchy." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"An efficient performance management helps people win rather than rating and berating them. The best management includes day-to-day coaching that catches people doing things right and redirects their efforts when they are off-base." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"Passionate people and loyal customers drive success in your organization." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"Long-term success is about more than making tomorrow's number." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"Success is not just about having a successful career. It's about having a great life." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"Relationships at work and at home can deteriorate when they aren't nourished." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"A strength taken to an extreme can become a liability. Keep your priorities in order." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"Work to balance your business life with the rest of your life." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"It's better to patiently implement a solid business strategy than to recklessly push for growth." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)



"The wrong leader can send you off in direction you don't want to go. The right leader at the right time can help steer things in the right direction." ~~ Kenneth H Blanchard, Don Hutson and Ethan Willis (Book: The One Minute Entrepreneur)


Buy: Amazon


Hope you enjoyed reading this collection of quotes.


Happy Reading!